The first problem or hurdle that every individual encounters is the inner fear developed over the years – from learning and experience at home, at school, in college, and in work place. An individual experiences inner fear when he/she unknowingly allow others’ judgments and opinions to rule and to guide him/her. How many times has this happened in our life? Someone will pass judgment on us. What happens when we hear all these comments? Most of us will slip into a negative mind – a mind in anger and frustration – and will try to deviate from those comments.

Others’ opinions are of great concern for us. So, by trying to avoid such comments our creative ability and our talents get suppressed. My question is how long are others’ opinions going to matter for you? As long as your desire is logical, your desire is socially acceptable, and your desire is born from within; can others’ opinion about you and what others speak about you, stop you? By not following others’ opinions, maybe you will be considered stupid. Butyou need to follow your heartbeat and your heart desires. In doing so,you can get rid of the menace of life and the fear of negative comments from others. In other words, do not let others influence your decisions and your thinking. By following your desires and executing your abilities the first hurdle can be overcome.

The second hurdle is our ability to speak. When a question is put across, we have answers to the question, but we find it difficult to speak. It is because many thoughts come to our mind:‘What if what I say is wrong? What if I give a stupid comment? What if I am totally criticised and let down?’So,when an answer is said by another person, we often remark: ‘Oh! This I knew! This comment was in my mind.’ The freedom to express is very much limited by our fear of being stupid. How many times have you experienced stage fright? How many times you couldn’t express yourself to your friends or relatives? Every time you really wanted to express yourself you stopped because you were in fear of being criticised. You were in doubt of being right or wrong. Why can’t we think that let our statement be right or wrong to others, but I am right to the best of my judgement and by the way I look at it?Why can’t we think that we need to accept anyone who convinces us that our viewpoint was not right? So,what stops a person from speaking is not fear, but the inability to accept others if they convince us that our concepts and understandings need more refinement. You are unable to express yourself because of the fear of being considered wrong or stupid. It is your prestige and your pride, that pushes you down, always. And if you come out of your personal pride and prestige, the second hurdle, namely, the fear to speak will be away from your life.

The third hurdle is personal ego or the fear of pulling you down which hinders the ability to get connected to others. People of critical importance who are required for your forward journey are in front of you- the principal of a school was walking in front of you,a union leader was walking in front of you,the State Chief Minister was available to you, a great scientist, an engineer, an ordinary man, and a poor man, are there in front of you -but why didn’t you get connected with them?Is it because you either think that the other person to be connected with belongs to a high or a low status or you didn’t like the other person for what they do in life? What stopped you? You were stopped by your own fear of yourselves being let down.The feeling or the judgement or the valuation about yourself by you prevents you from being connected with others. So, nobody can defeat you. There is only one person who can defeat you. And that is you only yourself.

The fourth hurdle is your inner feeling to hide. From your childhood to the day before you die, you want to hide. You don’t want to be visible. As a child when somebody comes near you, you hide behind your parents; and if you are in a group, you never came to the forefront. But when you use something that will boost your prestige and pride such as driving a Mercedes car,you will come out from your hiding spot. But if you do something that you are not confident about and what you do not like, then you choose to hide. But readers it is your personality – the you in you, the I in I – that stops you from coming to the limelight.

So, these four hurdles hinder the growth of individuals. And the day they are fearless, able to build a connection to express themselves, ignore other’s judgments, and confident to face others;the soul is liberated,and the real talents are developed. Soul liberation means liberating the soul from egos which are like dirt that covers our soul. Egos are like cataract to the eyes. Egos can be removed effectively at one place and that is the school when collaborated learning happens. Because, collaborated learning is the way by which children build friendships,it is the way they learn to work together, it is the way they learn to peel away their pride and prestige to become responsible citizens.

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Many times, it can be found that a large section of the people who are employed are unable to communicate. Why are they unable to communicate? They will only communicate, speak to their closest friends about what they really think about a problem or a subject. So why can’t they communicate in an office or in public? It is because of the fear, the fear of an unknown problem, an unknown risk, or the fear of committing a mistake.

Do you think that there will be a platform anywhere that you can communicate without fear? Yes, you can communicate in a public place without fear. But all that you should know is a very important thing called emotional intelligence. If you know what the other person thinks, then can you communicate to the thoughts of another person. Look at our politicians, look at anybody who works in social leadership; they may not have studied much, but they have the courage to talk on anything under the sun. They can criticise, they can applaud, they can communicate to your thoughts. And slowly you will admire Therefore, communication and becoming successful are linked very closely.

The extent to which you can communicate to the thoughts of people who are not known to you will decide your influence in a public platform. And if you don’t have that communication spirit, ability, whatever you are, how great you are, you cannot come up in a public place and speak. Where shall you acquire this skill?

Poets, novelists, and dramatists become very famous because they have the ability to communicate to the public and ignite the thoughts of the public from their mind. If communication in a public place is not developed it will be very difficult for anyone to be known in public. Therefore, in the modern world, the ability to communicate in a public place is a skill that everyone should acquire. However, the first challenge is how to overcome the fear of the mind to speak to a large crowd. The second challenge is how to understand the emotions of a crowd. If you know what they think and what they wish to hear you can easily communicate to them. Everyone should know emotional intelligence very well. One should know the art of understanding the mind of others. One need not have to change the ideas, values, policies, and perspective of the listener.

There is difference between public and official communication. Official communication has less of emotional intelligence but more of sharpness. It should be based on policies, directions, and abstraction.

What is abstraction.? Imagine if your fish curry doesn’t have pieces of fish, can you eat it? You can, but can you enjoy it? It is the piece of fish in the curry that gives it the taste. Similarly, when somebody speaks there should be some measured quantities, numbers, allowing people to imagine and with the measured numbers people can easily capture it. Official communications must be based on abstract numbers otherwise it will not be read. There should be an ability to become a quick reader and quick reading requires assessing paragraph-wise, importance of the centre and numerical terms in it and adherence to rules and regulations. So, this has to be well-trained.

Another kind of communication is home conversation which means communication in a personal relationship. The binding principle in a home communication is emotional intelligence. Understanding each other’s mind-sets. But it is more embedded in love, tolerance, patience, and empathy. If these basic values of communication are lost, communication in a personal relationship will be unacceptable.

Where and how shall we learn the art of communication The basic ingredient of communication is confidence. One must have the ability to remove fear. If you cannot speak in front of an audience, the simple problem is lack of confidence. If the gain confidence the fear of committing mistakes vanishes, and every communication turns out to be an offer to God. That is the highest form of communication where you do it like a prayer.
And, how do you communicate like a prayer? Where can we remove the fear? How can we remove the fear? And who can remove the fear?
Let’s go back to the classroom. Did the teacher develop in the child the ability to speak communicate? Were children given total freedom without fear? Every communication needs to be appreciated and supported. Don’t discriminate against any child. The more the freedom given, the higher will be the confidence gained. Confidence building is, thus, the fundamental of communication.

Communication is not from amassing bookish knowledge and it is not from building vocabulary. On the contrary, communication is a free mind in confidence which can bring together thoughts and feelings and express them in a language that comes to the heart along with facial expressions and gestures that penetrates into the listener’s mind and heart; truly embedded in the emotional intelligence.

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