Own, follow, and explore your heartbeats

The fundamental essence of life is to follow one’s own heartbeats. If those heartbeats are towards attainment of a thing that is not socially acceptable, not acceptable in a family, not acceptable in a company, then that heartbeat may not help the person to remain in that place. Therefore, accepting the heartbeat but failing to follow one’s own heartbeat is the crux of unhappiness as well as an obstacle for self-development. Accordingly, character and career building have a huge binding on owning, following, and exploring one’s own heartbeat.

Therefore, when a person owns, follows, and explores his own heartbeat, he will welcome every struggle, every failure, and every difficulty because challenges, difficulties, and problems are motivators that will help him look into those problems critically and find those problems as glittering opportunities.

So, what a child needs to develop is to own, follow, and explore his/her own heart/heartbeats. But, why is a child not following his/her own heart, desires, and ambitions? Why does he/she fail to take up challenges? Why do challenges defeat him/her? What are the forces that work against his/her heart?

I think it is beyond the teachers, beyond the school environment, beyond the school values, and beyond the fellow children though these people influence his heartbeats. Of all, the most important people who influence his heartbeats are his parents. And the question is, why parents, despite deep love for the child, are the greatest enemy of the child.

As the first obligation of a child is towards his family members, if they, particularly the mother and the father insist on a certain behaviour, on a certain career, that is not in the heartbeats of a child, the child unwillingly obliges. The child obliges not out of love for his/her heartbeats but because of his/her love and commitment towards his/her parents. In such a situation, the school or the teachers can hardly do anything because the child has been enslaved by the desires of someone else.

What is wrong in this? Fundamentally, the child’s passions, talents, will not suit the desire of the parents. My parents, at some point of time, wished I would become a doctor. A common wish for most parents. But I couldn’t achieve their dream. They supported me with the best resources, I was put into the best institution, and given excellence programmes so that their son would become a doctor who is highly respected in a community.

I attended practical classes where frogs are dissected. My classmates did it so well, but I used to do it like the bones leftover after eating. My teachers used to laugh at me questioning the artistic sense in me. She used to ask me to watch my friends and learn how it is done.

I hated all practical labs – biology, chemistry and physics. I feared doing the physics experiments because I was unable to connect with the concepts in physics.

So, what happened in my life? After two years of secondary education, I thought I would fail. But I secured 50% mark only with the blessings of God. And I was a huge failure and a shame to my parents. Neither was I happy nor my parents. Then, they understood the reality and asked me what I wanted to study.

I found happiness in a new subject called economics where I was away from maths and I was away from labs. I did not want to stay in a hostel and travelled 64 kms daily and a five km village road on foot. Many days, because the number of buses were few, I struggled with carrying my books and a small lunch to the college. I had to leave home at 7am and reach back around 6.30pm. I learnt to live with minimum resources.

I am grateful to many people – thanks to Sree Narayana College, Quilon for the wonderful reading facilities; thanks to Malabar Express that helped me to travel at a low price from Quilon to Trivandrum and reach the University Library; thanks to the University Library Canteen where I could get breakfast for 20 paise and lunch for 25 paise and the huge reading facility that was a heaven to me and helped me read to my heart’s content; and finally but not the least, thanks to Professor Bhaskaran sir for helping me take up challenges and to secure a rank in University of Kerala, which shaped my character and career in the banking sector and finally into an entrepreneur.

As an entrepreneur, I have taken all challenges under the sun and I have addressed every problem. I work for nearly 18 hours and travel a lot. Nevertheless, I am the happiest person today. And I believe that I have brought a lot of happiness to my mother, to my family and to everyone who loves me.

So, my question is: Whose passion should a child work for? Whose heartbeats shall be the heartbeats of a child? What challenges should a child take?

I believe, one’s own

I have always seen that parents, out of their love and their personal aspirations, enslave a child. They want their child to become what they lost and to enjoy the prestige in society that they did not celebrate. I wish parents understand that if the child wants to become a trader instead of a doctor let him/her be. Help him/her develop the skills.

If you take the Mahabharata, for instance, Arjuna was an expert in archery. He was never asked to take up any other warfare. So was Bheema and Dhuryodhana. Every character excelled in what they really liked rather than what their parents liked. Even Karna never had a parent to guide, but still he excelled in all that he wanted.

A rose flower cannot come out of a lotus plant. Likewise, a lotus cannot come from a rose bush. Each flower has its beauty. Similarly, if ten mangoes from 10 different trees are tasted, the sweetness and aroma differ. That’s the law of nature. Each thing in this world, right from a snake to the best aromatic flower exhibit their own characteristic. Let us thank God for the diverse talents he has given each of us. Like education, do not go and chase other’s futures, greatness, and happiness. Believe in yourselves, build your happiness, and be passionate about what your heart is comfortable to do. And then life will be great.

Let schools understand this and allow each child to follow his/her heartbeat, become passionate, and take up challenges impossible for himself/herself. The child should learn to challenge defeats, find his/her good friends, and think that he/she is the best. Such children will be respected and find an enriching career.